Confessions of an ADD'er Part 3: The Dark Side

This is part three in a series about my experiences with Attention Deficit Disorder. See Part 1 and Part 2.

Imagine yourself standing on the edge of a cliff. It is night. Behind you is a giant mass of light, noise and pain. It is a huge swirling angry cloud that you desperately want to get away from. It is all the noise, stress, personal failures, headaches, body pain, disappointment, self-loathing, bad experiences, forgetfulness, longing, and misery of your daily existence. In front of you, over the edge of the cliff, is nothing but silence and darkness. Peace. Tranquility. Glorious nothingness. All you have to do is step over the edge. . .

For many ADD'ers, the most debilitating part of their condition isn't the lack of organization, the forgetfulness or the constant buzz of information in their heads. It's the hopelessness, the inability to get out of bed, the lack of energy, the general malaise, the aches and pains, the feelings of personal failure and worthlessness and the contemplation of suicide. That's right, I'm talking about depression.

ADD'ers are 2.7 times more likely to be moderately to severely depressed than the general population. They are 7.5 times more likely to have mild depression, also called dysthymia.

The constant daily frustrations with being forgetful, disorganized, scatter-brained, thick-headed and constantly distracted can push an ADD'er into depths of misery that few people experience. Add in the normal stresses of daily life and it gets even worse. It is a misery that is beyond comprehension and beyond all rational thought.

Many ADD'ers also suffer from addiction and substance abuse in their efforts to "self-medicate." They are looking for an escape from the constant tempest going on in their heads. They may turn to alcohol or illegal drugs in an effort to silence the noise and get away from the stress.

Other ADD'ers suffer from Bipolar Disorder, anxiety attacks, learning disabilities or insomnia. Or a combination of symptoms.

Add all these things together and it's a wonder that an ADD'er ever makes it out of bed in the morning. But if you think I've covered it all, you're mistaken. There's more.